Ghosting is damn near an epidemic these days, regardless of your profession or industry.
To be clear, those of us in public relations and influencer management are fairly thick-skinned about this topic. We send a lot of emails and inboxes are crowded. After a few gentle follow ups, a lack of response is simply interpreted as “not interested”. No biggie.
But when there IS a response and a mutual handshake on a shared outcome, and then….nothing? 😑
Case in point: I recently secured an article for a client in an online trade publication. The journalist responded enthusiastically to my pitch, and I scheduled the interview. The client and the journalist had a wonderful conversation, and we provided a library of photos to be used in the article. Virtual high-fives all around. Nothing to do but wait and look forward to some great feature coverage.
4 weeks post-interview: I follow up to inquire about a publication date. The journalist responds that it should be up the following week.
6 weeks post-interview: Still no article. I kindly follow up. No response.
8 weeks post-interview: Still no article. I kindly follow up. No response.
10 weeks post-interview: Enough. I wrote a final email, using the following script:
“Hi {JOURNALIST NAME},
I have the distinct feeling {CLIENT NAME} and I are being ghosted here, which is very disappointing. I know priorities and schedules shift, but to be unresponsive is frankly unprofessional, especially when {CLIENT NAME} has provided you with his/her/their time, insights, and assets. I respectfully ask one more time that you honor your interview subjects and offer some kind of status update. I'd like to have a positive working relationship with your publication in the future, and hope to preserve that here by reaching out one last time.”
15 Minutes post-email: The journalist writes back apologizing profusely, and offering to get on a call to make amends.
1 week post-email: Article published!
Why did this work?
I chose firm and fair language vs. shame and blame language. To break it down further:
Best Practices for Responding to Being Ghosted
Acknowledge the situation - Everyone is busy. Things change. Offering the benefit of the doubt implies that somewhere there was a dropped ball, and therefore a quick and easy resolution at hand. This had been the premise of my previous follow ups, why I was more emphatic in this final response.
Don’t make it personal. Ever. - It’s fine to call the situation unprofessional and acknowledge disappointment. Those points are undeniably valid. But hold off on being accusatory or insulting to the human at the other end of the email. It just won’t reap any positive results and can definitely have a negative effect. To the credit of the journalist, when we spoke on the phone he was respectful, kind and apologetic, which went a long way in de-escalating the situation.
Re-state the commitment - Emphasizing the exchange of time, effort, and value, implies that one side of the obligation has been fulfilled. Asking the recipient to honor their commitment funnels them into a position where they must acknowledge their responsibility and take action to fulfill their part of the agreement.
Refrain from demanding an explanation - It’s tempting to ask why the ghosting happened, but does it really matter in the end? There could have been a wide range of explanations, from personal to business related. In our follow up call, I didn’t press the journalist on this, and he didn’t offer it, which allowed us to carefully regain each other’s trust and move forward. Which is vital because ultimately the goal is to…..
Preserve the relationship - I cannot stress this enough.Being “rude and right” is a dangerous game, and one not worth playing. At its core, my goal is to continue working with this person and the publication, demonstrating the value of the clients and story ideas I provide. Ensuring a positive and professional rapport paves the way for future collaboration.
The next time you’re in a sticky ghosting situation, try the following script. This one has an even softer tone than what I used the in example:
Hi {NAME},
I understand that everyone is busy and priorities can shift unexpectedly. I'd previously followed up on {Your Project Name} {X} times and while I haven't heard back, I wanted to reach out one last time.
As you know, {CLIENT} and I have invested significant time and effort in working with you on this. I believe it aligns perfectly with [mention publication's focus/audience] and offers valuable content for your readers.
I respectfully ask one more time that you honor your commitment. If it’s more convenient, we could reconnect and discuss the next steps. Perhaps there's an alternative approach or timeline that would better suit your current needs.
Sincerely,
{Your Name}
Here’s to your success the next time you’re staring down the black hole of being ghosted.